I'VE SLEPT WITH DEATH

The smell of amniotic fluid flooded my nose and I understood that being removed from this life is very similar to being born into it. Not ready to accept my un-birth my dying heart faint heartedly pumped regret into its already drug infused body. There was so much I wanted to do, so much I needed to say, and no time left. "No time left. No time. No. No. N-n-n-oo-oo.....No, no, no, no" echoed and rattled inside my skull to the tone of a low organ and the beat of little mechanical men. My feet were pulled out from under my already recumbent corpse. I tried to fixate my dilated eyes on the last human being I would ever see before slamming them shut with all of the rigor mortis I could muster. The image remained momentarily before being divided from the center by emptiness, as if an old television screen had been turned off one final time. My reality raced by either side of my head as I fell into the womb of death. Old memories remained as regret, morals and all else dispersed into non existence. I kicked the bucket. Filled to the brim with tickets to hell printed on acid sheets. Aborted down a dark psychedelic spout into a queen sized coffin built for two. Who would have known Death would be so warm and who would have thought her bed would be so god damn comfortable. The darkness of this place was more detailed than my fingerprint under a microscope and more familiar than the back of my hand in broad daylight. I knew I was finally home but not content remembering what unsolved misery I had left behind. There I slept cold and constricted in the warm sheets of Death's bed for an eternity and dreamed and dreamed and dreamed to the tone of the low organ and the beat of little mechanical men. Death rolled me over and kissed me on the lips. "Baby" I said, "I'm not ready." Who knew eternal slumber had such a beautiful face. I closed my closed eyes saw life and death and wondered which I loved and which I loathed and what the difference really was between the two. I didn't want to die and I didn't want to be reborn. I had no. time. left. when everything turned to shadows as the cursed world was pushed away from me. The only visible light was the ever dimming flame of insignificance. I fell and fell and fell into the cold abyss only to be warmed by all too familiar desolate morals. And back into the darkness of this wretched, desolate life.